Wednesday, May 28, 2008

CASABLANCA!

I just got back after watching Casablanca!..what a wonderfully shot movie.I would have never thought it was shot in 1941.Its a movie so much ahead of its times(direction wise).Michael Curtiz is truly a genius.The story is touching and has a very nice bittersweet ending to it.If it was made 10yrs ago,this is how it would have gone,Rick and Ilsa would have jumped into a 747 and flown off, there would definitely been no beautiful friendship between Louis and Rick and the only bittersweet ending would have been when Victor and Louis discovered they had feelings for each other!lol...

I don't know about you guys, but some how I feel there are no clean simple movies today,like Casablanca.A movie which has good actors,who don't over act.A movie where the story is simple but yet very touching........A movie where you feel at some point in time,your the character. There is this dialogue in the movie,"The problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world".Whata line man and its so well put.You know the fact,and you've talked about it to your dear ones,about how your a speck of dirt on the road when compared to the size of earth, but ..............but.................it still makes a lot more sense when you hear it in the movie.I don't know why?!!....

There's this other dialogue that i liked a lot and Bogart just deliveres it brilliantly,its...

Rick to Ilsa: Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Laszlo, or were there others in between? Or - aren't you the kind that tells?

Nobody has ever done this to me,but I just like the dialogue.I know looots of people who are THAT KIND!!the kind that "don't tell"....whatever it might be.They just keep it to themselves.I just don't understand how people can be like that!?!just keep to themselves....hardly talk,hardly go out,have a monotonous life style...anyway who knows maybe they are the souls who are actually elevated:-)


Coming back to the movie...I just love they way they have portrayed Rick,like in the line where he tells sam,"play it sam!!,if she can hear it,i can!!it really shows how deeply in love he was with Ilsa,along side with his hard looks and sharp remarks,one does realise that he does have a soft heart.There are not too many characters like this in the history of cinema.At the same time one should watch this movie jussttt for Ingrid Bergman. Just for that short glance she gives with her head slightly tilted,for the mild glimmer in her eyes when shes talking to rick,for the way she says "Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake".

she carries herself so beautifully in the movie and I'm not kidding but she just looks gorgeous,she looks like the moon on Paurnami in the movie.There is this glow you can find in her face,one would really think shes got a big bright bulb inside her head or some thing... but she is just remarkable.



But these truly are my favorite lines in the movie,and the song.....my god...is jussttt beeaauutiifuulll!!!


Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake.
Sam: [lying
] I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa.
Ilsa
: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
Sam: [lying
] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Ilsa. I'm a little rusty on it.
Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum
...
[Sam begins playing
]
Ilsa
: Sing it, Sam.

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

LEARNING TO LET GO...

This is perhaps the most difficult thing to do.which i think i have finally learnt.... how to do(by default).I'm some body who hates to let go!!.of what?people,memories,feelings,experiences,places,dresses,pillows,barbies......yeah i think i should stop with that lol.letting go is so hard.something i just cant explain.but Ive definitely found one thing out,once some things gone,its gone for good.whatever it might be,even if it come back(happens rarely)its never the same thing.

A month before my 10th birthday,one of the most tragic events in my life took place.i lost the closest person i have had in my life so far.my grandmother.i can not tell u,even now the thought of her still pierces my heart.i can never forget the time i used to run back from school and hug her.the warmth and security i found in,lying on her chest,to hear her heart beat and count it for hours.i used to admire her batman style glasses.i used to admire the way she used to say "right-o"with this very south indian iyer accent before she used to put the phone down.i remember her coming to pick me up after my summer camp,while all the mothers and fathers used to come to pick up their children,my radha patti used to come,driving at the age of 64 in our 2767 chocolate brown,maruti high-dome van.she was and still is the most amazing person i have ever met.and to this day.....i have not let her go.every time i turn back and look for some one,i always wish she was there,standing with her arms wide open waiting for me,like when i was young.every time i try to let go of a bad experience or a person,i always have tears in my eyes wondering why she isn't there to help.i always look right into her picture and ask why she had to go leaving me all alone,only to receive the same smile she always used to have.which some how brings back all these memories.

But really what is letting go?to me its complete cutting off.I'm not some one who can be around people who have hurt me,or cant go back to a place where i have had a bad experience.call me immature but that's how it is.i know many people who can break up with boy friends and still be in touch and still be best friends some times,i cant.once its over its over.i cant even look at that person.not even in a picture.

But of course there is something called time.which changes everything.it takes a looot of time some times but it happens.that's when i know...I'm through!Ive crossed the dark deep tunnel and Ive reached the other side to find a whole new world filled with,fresh air and clear skies.although i know deep down that I'm going to have to pass many more deep dark long tunnels...and some times i can even see them coming.and what do i do!?walk right in!!i just hope one day ill learn the easy way out which is for me,taking the right path.

But after a point of time.one burns out.nothing matters anymore.recently i had grown to like a particular person a lot.but some how it wasn't the same as before.after a few months this person stopped calling me.did i feel bad? yes.but did it hurt? no.!theres a difference.Did i care?NO!

This is what letting go for me is.you let go of yourself.so much that things stop mattering to you.yes it is a wonderful state of mind.u don't get hurt by all these things,but u don't derive happiness from anything either.i used to define this state as "normal" to a person who was at one point in time very very close to me.Because he was always "normal".i used to hate him for that.i mean,the man would simple not react! but now i relate to him better.

i finally learnt that by letting go one becomes free.

Life teaches you many things.The most important thing its taught me is that,you always walk alone, once u change u can never change back,once your hurt you can never be "un-hurt"..............once u let go .....u can never stop.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

A STILL BABY!?

Why is it that some times one can not feel what one wants to feel.One can not even pretend to.Its happened so many times with me.

You want it to be there,the feeling,the emotion,the tear,the smile,the numbness,but its never there.
NOT even close.i wonder why!?


What are emotions??where do they come from?how can one control it?

By experience?by instinct?by k
arma? i wish i knew.

Some times i look for myself and i cant find ME.am i what i feel?do i need somebody else to make me feel ME? like when I'm in love or when i fly? does one need the environment to make one feel?
much like the matrix theory.


so what happens
without the environment with out emotions,with out word
s,without feelings,with out experiences? what do "I" become?

A STILL BABY?

FINDING ME


Its so funny!...so many people blog and have asked me to blog too,but i have always thought of it as some thing completely useless.i mean why would some one write about themselves and put it up on the internet for everyone to read!?..how self centered can some people get!?and most importantly who's gonna read it!!??!!lol

but here i am today.blogging!.y?because i just realised one needs to blog to keep sane...I'm writing today for myself.because i need to.To keep me sane and insane at the same time... u don't get it? i don't either lol...that's y I'm blogging..to stop holding back.to see how life is
to say whats in my heart, and not worry if ill get hurt by it.to just write.to just let go.to just be happy.