What an A/C bus can't give you...

Some times our lives can be so jam packed that we hardly have time to feel good about it.Yes, feel good about life being jam packed..We are all so involved in our own words that we don't realise that life is actually so much fun.It might not be fun for every body but right now I certainly am having a ball.This course for one is eating me alive, but it some how feels so good to be so filled up, actually just a few days ago ...My crazy life started getting to me, my dance was suffering and I wasn't able to keep up with everything.

I worked till 4 a few nights back, finishing some corelDRAW work I had to submit the next day.I woke up the next morning and switched on my computer and it wouldn't boot.I tried a million times and then decided to chuck it, but I was damn pissed.I had, had a horrible fight with a friend(which was bugging me, I donno why because we fight all the time anyway).I was suppose to take money from Amma but I forgot,because I woke up late.So I had to walk it to the bus stand and I had 5.rs with me.That's it.I had lost my wallet the earlier day and all my cards, I was'nt too happy about that either.I had enough money to go but not on the deluxe bus, I had just enough money to by the sada bus.So I waited and......waited!!!And mind you I was already 30mins late for class.It was just a horrible beginning to the day and I was really ready to yell at some one.Which I don't endup doing but I just feel like that.Which is weird because when I'm in a bad mood and some one pisses me off, I'm so consciously under control I never yell or fight.Anyway so I'm in one of my moods and waiting at the bus stop.Its just been my luck that I travel by the same route that has the A/C buses and I have not yet gone on one of them.And I travel on the same route every day!!!And that day, this A/C bus come and stands right in front of me, literally in front of my face, and the door opens and I look at my wallet again and at the 5.rs coin and I just stay like that, I don't even bother looking up until the bus has left and the dust from its tires is falling into my eyes.Then my sada, slow, rundown bus comes, jam packed...now I don't have a choice do I, late for class no money for the A/C bus or deluxe bus, I get in,and make my way through, hugging my cellphone and wallet so that no one steals it in the mad rush.It was horrible till Mandavali and at Mandavali, half the bus gets down.Feeling slightly better I go sit at the edge of a broken seat and as usual, am deep in my thoughts (thinking about myself!!pffftt)looking at the floor of the bus, when some one taps my shoulder.I turn to find the conductor standing, giving me the biggest smile!Which I don't know how but made me feel sooo much more better instantly.He seamed to be in his late 50's wearing a sky blue shirt and dark blue pants.He pulls out his ticket machine, gives me another smile and says "yenga ma pohanum?" in this very polite caring tone.I smile at him feeling like I have just got into the bus for a joy ride and nothing else.I reach to get my purse, and took out the only thing that was in it and said "thiruvanmayur".He could very well see that I had only that in my purse, gave am another very warm smile and handed my a 4.rs ticket and change.
That's it.He walked away, and I went back to looking at the floor.But I couldn't have been happier.I sat up, and couldn't stop smiling at myself.Suddenly,every thing was okay, suddenly the day became beautiful.I enjoyed the bus ride, enjoyed my class, enjoyed my lunch with no salt.Suddenly it was all fun!!I still don't understand what happened but its funny how the mind changes course..But you know what made the difference, the little care from a stranger.Am sure all of you must have experienced it, its some thing so warm and genuine and pleasant. Little do they know that's its going to change some one's life drastically.

MIRROR BLOG

As the auto made a loud noise and started picking up speed on an empty St Mary's street,I stood alone out side Rain Tree(the hotel).It was around 11.30pm and I was waiting for my mom to come and pick me up.Just as I turned to look at the auto I saw Beda peep out to wave goodbye again.I looked at him smiled and waved back.Beda and I have been...Good friends since 2005.We met online on the yahoo Backstreet Boys chat room lol yes!!We started talking around 12am and talked till 9am the next morning and again the day after and it went on...For the first few months we talked for atleast 4 hr straight!!...I have never met someone soo funny and soo rude ever in my life.It was the 2ed time we had met.It had been a kind of nice but weird dinner.We sat on the roof top restaurant looking over madras, ordered good food and talked about a lot of things.He told me a very touching story about his experience with an auto driver in Hydrabad(where he lives).

It was getting late and we paid the bill and went down, we walked around the hotel while we were waiting for my mom and then I told him to leave as it was getting late and literally pushed him into an auto.As I waved good bye I wondered...Would a guy actually leave a girl in the middle of the night and just go away??(even if I had insisted).Beda and I have been through soo many endless fights, night long chats, drawing sessions on yahoo chat.He would (after I have begged him a lot) call and play the guitar and sing for me.But would he just leave me alone and go off in the middle of the night!?..Yes he did and that's when I sat outside Rain Tree and though about how Beda and I had come so far.In today's day and age, being friends is not an easy thing.With Beda and me, well we really had to make things work.Ultimately till today when I have a real problem and I want to talk to some one about it, I always end up going online at like some insane hr in the morning and he'll be there.And man would I be happy to see that bright yellow face saying "online Beda" on yahoo.

As I sat outside that night in the dark I asked myself, did I make the wrong choice of a friend.Was he so self centered?...Did I really want someone like that?We are always searching for friends and people who will be there for us, was Beda worth all the hurt and rude comments???...

OF COURSE!!!What am I saying!!...So he left me and went home!?? So what??Tomorrow when I call him with tears in my eyes about some thing, hes the one who makes me smile.Yeah we have our difficult times but what the hell...We have what I call "a long distant best-friend relationship" its not going to be easy.But some how even after the worst fights we just need to see each other online to start talking.Its only that day that I realised how thankful I was to have Beda .How importand it is to have a friend who you can count on for anything.Emotionally he is and I guess always be my pillar.I don't think he knows all this but well..Beda now you do!!...

As my car's high beam light flashed straight into my eyes, I thought, some times one doesn't know how lucky he/she is to have certain things in life, but a very very small percentage do know.!!!I'm glad in Beda's case, I'm in that small percentage.
Don't know what I'll do with out you dude!!:-)

Beda's mirror of the story(much better than mine!!)

read the post at @ http://confessionsofamis-fit.blogspot.com/2008/08/golb-rorrim.html

FOUND MYSELF!!

Tamil Nadu is not called the land of temples for nothing.The state has more that 30,000 temples,not a surprise I know.After I finished my psychology a few months ago I was soooo totally lost about what I wanted to do in life,I seriously had no clue at all.Finally some time during April my mom saw this ad in the paper about an arts management course at Dakshinachitra, and I still remember her calling me up during college(some thing she never does)and said ..."shreya,I have found the IDEAL course for you"...and trust me it was!!I applied and got a scholarship and then decided to go ahead with it.In this first semester we study about temple architecture,art and design,2d art,3d art,western art,cultural studies.We have some amaziiing faculty.Each class has some thing soo new and soo different to offer.Its so wonderful to actually study about India and its culture and tradition and art and architecture right from 400 B.C.And some times it is sooo mind blowing that I really wonder....O my god..!!why is it that like only 1% of Indians know all this....Its really blows me away... but I am so happy that I have taken it up.Its like some body is paying me to actually FIND MYSELF... and ill tell you why...!!

Some people tell me...psychology and what I'm doing now has no connection and that "I'm still lost"....NO!!....Finding yourself is when you end up doing some thing that you don't want to stop doing..!!!One subject that I'm obsessed with right now is temple architecture and its all because of one person Dr.CHITRA MADHAVAN.She is just simply.....out of this world.We have been studying week after week about soo many temples in detail.Its history,its architecture,who bulit it, why, inscriptions, legends, sculptures, paintings....my god its just amazing.In other words I'm just trying to find meaning and a history and tradition in my life.Ive been going to temples for years.....but little did I know the meaning behind things,the history,the scuptures.When you find out where you come from,it makes a biiggg difference.It has some how I donnno how...created such a strong sense of self concept with in me.Its like I'm a different person.I would have never imagined me blogging about this but here I am.At last.....FINDING MYSELF!!!!....

O i should also mention that Dr.Muthukumar swamy is a genius!!He teaches us cultural studies....which is (to put it in my own words)nothing but the study of "the psychology behind cultures"...Belive me!! I wake up Tuesdays and Thursdays with a big smile on my face because its time for CULTURAL STUDIES.

Anyway ...Im getting carried away here.I am going to talk to you about 1 just 1 of the many many temples we have been studying about.I'm writing about this temple because I visited it just this Sunday with some of my classmates..!Its 1.5kms from Kachipuram and its a 7th century Pallava temple.The Pallava kings were the great Mahendra Verman I followed by Narasimha Verman I also called as Mamalla, as he built all the temples at Mamallapuram (known today as Mahabhalipuram).His great grand son Narasimha Verman II is the one who built the Shore temple at Mamallapuram, and after that, this great master piece called the Kailashnatha temple at Kanchipuram, which was the capital city of the Pallava's.This temple....I do not have words to describe.I have only taken like some 300 pictures of it and I'm still not satisfied.Every inch of the temple has some sculpture or some inscription.Hope you guessed by now that its a Shiva temple.Narasimha Verman II also called Rajasimha built the vimana and the temple itself.For those of you who don't know the vimana is the structure above the garbha graha(the sanctum sanctorum).Inside the garbha graha there is a large sculpture of Somaskanda(shiva and Uma both seated with skanda in between) and in front of it there is a large linga.Rajasimha also built 58 sub shrines...all of which have Shiva in different forms like as Somaskanda(mostly), Dakshinamurthy, Nataraja, Gangadhara, Lingod Bhava murthy, Tripura Antaka and Durga and many many more sulptures...It is said that Rajasimha's wife Rangapathaka was a beautiful dancer and having her in mind,were the many karna's in this temple carved.A lot of scholars believe that Rajasimha made so many sculptures of Somaskanda to high light that fact that, what skanda was to shiva, Rajasimha was to his father Parameshwaran I. Rajasimha also inscribed in this temple 250 titles that he had got.But sadly while building the temple Rajasimha died.Hence his son Mahendra Verman III (who also lived a short life) completed this temple and built the very first gopura(a small one)in south India.And that is how the tradition of gopura's started.

Even today this temple is soo beautiful to look at.The architecture is so .....amazing!!I can't even image how it would have been in the 7th century.But we do know that when the Chalukya king Vikram Aditya II came and conquered Kanchipuram he came to this temple he was sooo astounded by its beauty, he gave what ever he had looted to the temple,and he not only did that..He also took back with him to Karnataka the architect of the temple and built one exactly the same way!!...We know all this through inscriptions...He has also inscribed in the walls of the temple that 'he who tampers with this temple will go only to hell'.There is another inscription in this temple that says "The top of the temple touches the clouds (and hence) robs the beauty of Kailashnath".And so 1500 yrs later...This temple made of sand stone still stands strong and very much in worship in Kanchipuram.I feel extremely blessed to have gone and got the darshanam of Kailashanatha....

All the world is not green

I recently went for this french movie called the diving bell and the butterfly.Its won like some 37 awards and its a must watch!Its a beautifully shot and it some how... gets to you.Its a true story about this guy(Jean-Dominique Bauby)who was the former editor of Elle.The movie is about how he suffers a massive stroke at the age of 43...and gets paralyzed head to toe...The only thing he is left with is his imagination and his one eye and how he is trapped in his body which is the diving bell and communicates (with his one eye lid,which blinks like a butterfly)by blinking when his assistant utters the correct alphabet,hence forming words and sentences and hence finally a book called THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY...the movie based on the book is extraordinarily directed by Julian Schnabel.

It talks about...how people react to him,how he deals with it...and even if life is tough,love doesn't change and since we see most of the movie from his point of view we come out feeling...the same way.Whether love changes or not i don't know...but the movie surely had an impact on me....its been running at the back of my mind since last Wednesday.When I'm in the auto,when i see a beggar on the street,when I'm taking my dog for a walk and see another stray dog sitting all alone by itself,i wonder ...who really cares?if you or I were in such a position where we cant talk to people...or can only blink...or even if we are just alone..would we still be as important?..would we still be as strong?its not about who's there for you or who's not....its about how YOU deal with it!!..its all about realizing that you are....always,always alone....Its most importantly about how you deal with this truth during your hardest times.

For me this movie was more about realizing how to love some one and still not get affected by it...yes i stress again on the fact that numbness is good...it is!

After my grandmother,probably the closest person to me was my great grand mother..we called her Babushka(meaning grandmother in Russian)she was 97 when she died two years ago.The last few years of her life were very difficult.she couldn't walk at all..almost.she was confined to her popular black leather chair.she would sit and watch the world go by...she used to have skin that even at the age of 97 was soft..she had strong grey eyes..She was a very very strong woman right till the end,she possessed a powerful presence,wit and intelligence.She was some one who had a heart of gold..she was never afraid of making a decision...never wondered if "that was the way to go"she was very bold...she was the one that gave strength to the family.she was the iron pillar.when people needed her she was there..when my grand mom and her sister gave birth to their children she was beside them..when my aunt travelled the world giving bharathnatyam performances,she was there by her side at the age of 70,when my mom needed all the emotional support she could get...she was there!and numerous other times.she was the pillar...but at the end!?were we really there for her?...There were days she would ask me to to take 5mins and talk to her but as usual i would tell her ill come back and it would gradually slip my mind...and eventually when i did want to talk to her and pour my heart out she could hardly reply.The last year of her life she hardly talked...its not enough if we provide servants to keep her happy..that's not all one needs..that's not all what SHE needed..Some times even now after two years ...I still feel like shes there...there are these flashes when i suddenly think "O babushka kitta solitu pohanam"..and only after a few seconds do i realize shes no more...i miss her.after a point her speech became bad and so we had this board where she would point out letters and we would form words and sentences and that's how she communicated and that's why during this movie I kept remembering her.Like the words in the song"I can pretend that i owe her nothing and the world Will still be green"....but.....i wont pretend!!and the world will never.... always be green.

The next most amazing thing in the movie are the soundtracks...they have chosen the best soundtracks ..and have placed it perfectly during the course of the movie...I think its the sound tracks that lift the movie to great heights....there is a song called 'Don't kiss me goodbye'..which is wonderful but my favorite is Tom Waits's-all the world is green,and as usual I'm going to give you the lyrics...the song is simply amazinggggg!...for all of you who haven't watched the movie...please do!

ALL THE WORLD IS GREEN

I fell into the ocean
When you became my wife
I risked it all against the sea
To have a better life
Marie you are the wild blue sky
Men do foolish things
You turn kings into beggars
And beggars into kings
Pretend that you owe me nothing
And all the world is green

We can bring back the old days again
When all the world is green
The face forgives the mirror
The worm forgives the plow
The questions begs the answer
Can you forgive me somehow?
Maybe when our story's over
We'll go where it's always spring
The band is playing our song again
And all the world is green

Pretend that you owe me nothing
And all the world is green
Can we bring back the old days again?
And all the world is green
The moon is yellow silver
On the things that summer brings
It's a love you'd kill for
And all the world is green

He's balancing a diamond
On a blade of grass
The dew will settle on our graves
When all the world is green
Pretend that you owe me nothing
And all the world is green
We can bring back the old days again
When all the world is green
He's balancing a diamond
On a blade of grass
The dew will settle on our graves
When all the world is green

The "SCRUBS" effect.....

Well....it all started with this stupid problem with my right leg...i seemed to have developed a corn..which only got worse day by day...i knew the most common thing people do about is it surgically remove it...but that was the last thing i wanted to do...!!for the simple reason that it takes forever to heal and i dint want to not dance for such a long time...so i tried pranic healing...homeopathy...corn caps...and all kinds of stuff ...but nothing worked...and it came up such a point that i started having severe pain when i walked..so hence i had to do it...had to do what i hated the most!!...remove it..surgically!!so i went ....to a certain hospital where my mom is popular,hence hoping i would get some good treatment!!

So I'm sitting out side the A6 block(operation ward) which is on the 6th floor,which is so funny because when ever there is the mention of the A6 block there is this immediate pity look one receives lol... anyway so I'm sitting there with my black capri pants and a brown shirt watching mauna ragam on Ktv....waiting for the nurse to call me in for surgery...finally they do!!...so i go in...

they say... OK....your the patient is it???shreya singh???...only like some 3 times by 3 different people..mean while I'm standing there,watching a number of people in stretchers...being taken in and out of various door...and the very serious surgery fear begins to set in slowly...that's when the woman comes and says....okay madam you have to change....!!

Just to let you know the "fear" only lasted those 3 secs...lol....i go into this squarish room...all it has is a few wires hanging here and there and clothes hanging from it..in all directing I'm sorry let me correct my self....piles.....of clothes hanging from it.. and there are benches kept all around ...and its about 9 in the morning so all these nurses are sitting and drinking tea...she takes me to a corner where ..these 2 slightly fat nurses...actually no!!....these 2 VERY fat nurses sitting...and the lady says...OK madam change...into these garments...and please remove....EVERYTHING..!..so i say o..!!! everything!!??!!..shes like yes!! and she walks away...now i turn around to find like 30 women sitting and sipping tea and watching me change...yeah they could'nt care less..but still man!!...for the first time i actually felt..a little weird to change in front to people...generally i don't care..!!anyway...i couldn't do anything about it.i tried to do it as soon as possible...but of course..it seemed to take forever...i change into these really really loose....pyjamas and this weird over coat...which i had to keep hugging so it wouldn't open up in front..i walk out side feeling like a big light blue penguin....and my chiti comes and says...you look like those karate women and laughs....so I'm standing there waiting for more directions..and am surrounded by all these nurses and doctors and interns..all laughing around....cracking jokes..

This is where the scrubs effect comes in!!...im not kidding...it was just like the serial...i just thought it happens only TV but no!! this was how the whole ward was..!!they are all cracking jokes...and fooling around...and of course flirting..!!but the funny part was it wasn't the nurses who were flirting,it was the doctors flirting with the nurses....lol lol the only line from the show that kept ringing in my head was..when Dr.Cox tells the interns... EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO ....KILL...A PATIENT!!!lol There is this other scene in the scrubs ....where Dr.Cox tells these interns ...ALL OF YOU SLAP YOUR FACES...ITS BEEN A HORRIBLE DAY!!and all these interns will mindlessly lift their hands and slap their faces...that's exactly how i felt these guys were when i was standing in my penguin suit..!!.....anyway so then they put me on a stretcher and this male nurse takes me into the operation theatre....

I feel like this total dead body lying on a stretcher,have these black belts strapped on,cant move and am covered with this white sheet till my neck....all i can see is the sealing...which is all stripped....so they take through like a million room ..and all the times...they keep banging the stretcher on the door to open it...!!??i don get it...y cant they just open the door!?? which reminds me of that friends dialogue...when chandlers toe is hurt and they take him to the hospital...and Ross says..."why do your guys keep doing that,that's where hes hurt!?severed toe..you just said it"lol anyway so we finally reach the operation theatre...

the only thing this room has is metal walls...and these big lights....its kind of freaky...and they just left me there and went away....man did i feel jobless and bored!!

so then this dude wearing this pink penguin suit walks in and says again... shreya singh!?
ahh yes i say(trying to look happy about it)...this dude seems to know some decent English and was smiling weirdly...a bunch of nurses walked and as usual the flirting began...that's when i was thinking man..flirting in tamil is so different...after about 10 minutes...all the nurses left the room and the the dude was just standing next to me waiting for the doctor to come as things were ready for the surgery.....

A few minutes passed...now you must know i have this....NEED to talk...i cant just be in a room for like hours and not say a word to the other person...so my so called internal alarms were going off...so i turned to the guy and said...how long more for the doctor to come???he said a few minutes...and then i asked the brilliant question...so your an intern here???.....he turned around and gave me the most pathetic look possible and said NO!! I'm a doctor here!!.....i believe my answer was a very weak.....OOOO.....yeah then it was back to feeling awkward and alarms going off again....this time i decided to just shut up...and wait for the doctor,in the metal room!the nurses then came back and the flirting began again...

The surgeon then arrived in great style....with a bunch of cham cha's around him,all of them dressed in green penguin suits and masks....came and made small talk with me and asked whether he could start ...so with everything ready he said okay...I'm just going to give you a small injection(and he said it twice)...and that's it...my heart stopped..O MY GOD NOT THE SMALL INJECTION!!!

Now everyone knows they are going to give you an injection but there is still a difference..when the doctor or nurses specifies and says ..o this wont hurt at all,its just a SMALL INJECTIONS...that's the killer one....other wise its just an injection...or half the time they wont even mention it and they ll just stick the needle into you and it wont hurt all that much....but anyway this was the case of the "small injection"(and that to he said it twice!!!)....and he pierced it right in the centre of my corn....!!!

MY GOD!! THE PAIN WAS EXCRUCIATING!!!AND WORSE WHEN HE INJECTED THE ANESTHESIA.......anyway was i squealed and moved a bit and that's when he had to start making small talk....again ...and i really couldn't say....o stop it please!!!i had to answer all the question... like where i lived and how i was related to my mom.....but anyway after a few minutes.....i felt just nothing at all..he whipped out the surgical knife and began the surgery...
and its a very very weird feeling..when hes cutting..you know he is..you can feel it but it doesn't hurt...its very different..and i must say its very satisfying in a weird way...he kept talking from time to time..while i lay on my side and stared at the metal wall...while a bunch of people were standing around my leg and were looking at it ....the surgery lasted about 20 minutes....after that my leg was wrapped up well..and the doc warned me that it would hurt after the anesthesia wares off and hes gave me tabs for the pain and gave instructions not to walk and ext ext...then i was wheeled away to the recover ward...where i was surrounded by all kinds of people who were out from serious surgeries...all of them had a million tubes into them and stuff...everyone in the room had oxygen masks ...BUT me!!!:-(...i cant tell how left out i felt..!!i really did..!!it was stupid i know!!...but i wanted a mask too...anyway at last they hooked some tube up to my finger,after that i did'nt feel that bad...saw the monitor for a some time and then slept blissfully for about 40 minutes..after which they realised,i was a normal patient in the ICU lol...so they wheeled me out.

Was handed my clothes and asked to change...again!!in front of the nurses..it was lunch so again the room was buzzing with nurses ...this time there wasn't even place for me to stand ...anyway i changed and tried to look as comfortable as possible during the process!!i even smiled at a few of them!!then i tried limping and walking at the same time and i could and it didnt hurt...only because the anesthesia was still acting and i couldn't feel a thing!...a few tests were done...my HB was 14...i sure felt healthy.. i was discharged..and off they sent me...now any any normal nurse/doctor/intern/ward attendant..whoever!!!would...atleast..atleast..... take the care of putting a patient in a wheel chair...especially if they have just had a surgery in their leg...(yes even if it was a small one)..but all they did was say...okay bye-bye and pushed us out of A6!!... so much for "good treatment"...

And now a day later...with out anesthesia......the pain....is horribleeeeeeeee!!!!but its okay at the end of the day IT WAS FUN!!!...and man did i learn a lot of things about expectations...and flirting in tamil ;-)

A short film

scene-1

The sun has just risen and sunil is standing looking towards the window ....in deep thought...

Sunil-telling the camera

Sammy (also goes by the name sowmya) was my best friend from college....we both were worlds apart....she was the life of the college and I was the "weird dude who never talked".....its been 4 years since college finished....and also 4 years since we saw each other...

And NOW,we both are nothing like what we were in college.......but today, strangely...she called out of the blue wanting to meet...her tone seemed slightly weird and restless...it seemed like she wanted to meet me and get it over with....and she would refuse to take NO for an answer. (turns around and faces the camera)Which is very unlike Sammy...from what I remember...In college she used to have an ego bigger than the planet!....but I kind of got the feeling shes calmed down a lot,from what I knew of her...

the bell rings...
Sunil tells the camera hurriedly (clearly a person)..To go hide some where...he tells the camera that he told Sammy that he'll be alone. Because she wanted to meet "alone"

scene-2

Sammy think to her self.... standing outside the door...

she hated this. As much as she liked Sunil...and even though it’s been such a long time since they had met up. She still didn’t want to do it now,today!...now was a horrible time in her life...she cudnt find herself...she was lost career wise... she was getting old...she wasn’t married....she was living alone.!!she hated her life...but today was the big day...the day she was going to attend an interview,for her dream job....to head the cities most popular radio station...she wanted to be prepared and on her tips...and her heart had sank when Sunil’s parents had called the earlier evening...she couldn’t say no to them....she had to do this!! ..for old times sake...she had to help Sunil’s parents find out what was going on....she couldn’t imagine... what had gotten into him...!?all the strange things she had been hearing about him....

her stream of thoughts broke just as Sunil opened the door....

he seemed a little hesitant...and they just made eye contact for a few seconds...

sam-hiiiii sunniill
sun-hello....(they hug briefly and uncomfortably)
sun-come in have a seat...(they walk into his hall)

(they sit on the sofa, Sammy switches her cell phone off and keeps it on the table)

Sam-my god its been such a long time..How have you been??
sun-(smiles)..I've been good...and yeah the last time we met I think....was when we were saying goodbye to our college watchman, who used to let us out of the gate during break...remember!!??
Sam-(laughs)o my god..Yes!!...all the things we've done man....its crazy...
sun- so how come you your here all of a sudden...??(Looks at the camera from the corner of his eye)(Pauses)I was actually a little shocked to get your call last night...
sam-yeahhh...(hessitates for a sec)..no its just been so long...I mean...I almost forgot your face(laughs lightly)...so just thought ill drop by...
sun-sorry to hear about your engagement....I meant to call you
sam-(smiles weakly)yes...it was unfortunate...but hey...everything happens for the best!!..Does'nt it!??
Sun-yes it does....
Sam-you know what’s weird though. It hardly feels like its been 4 yeas...I mean it’s like we are picking up where we left off....like...yesterday!!!
sun- yes it does....guess that really means we must have been the best of friends...
Sam-yes...so tell me how have you been!??
Sun-(looks at the camera to make sure Sam can’t see him/it)ive been good..I was working with taj group of hotels...was going great actually...but I.... quit a few months ago
Sam-can I ask why?
Sun-well...aaaaammmm...just ...personal reasons....
sam-ohh... (Slightly feeling uncomfortable)...so what are you planning to do next..!?
Sun-aahh i was just hoping to take some time off ...time for myself!!(Smiles)
Sam-are you ok Sunil? You seem a little uncomfortable....
sun-no no no!!! im fine..im fine..!!
Sam-listen...ive been ................hearing a few things about you!!... about your behavior, apparently ...you've been acting a little strange and stuff!??Whats happening...
Sun-no... nothing like that...
Sam-is there some thing you want to tell me...or share with me!?
Sun-well nothing in particular...
Sam-any girlfriends???(winks)
sun-believe me...I wish!! But no....
Sam-oh c’mon....you can tell me.....
Sun-(laughs) Sammy do you think ill hide anything from you...even after all these years...??!!

The clock strikes 10am...Sammy turns to look at it and her expressions changes, she becomes a little nervous..

Sam-my god is it 10 already....Sunil I hate to but I have to go....I have this very important meeting at 11 and its at the other end of town...
Sun-(stands up)alright....I understand....no problem
Sam-yes..(Pickes up her hand bag and begins walking out of the door)
Sun-we should catch up some time...

Sam & Sun are facing each other at the edge of the door..

Sam-yes, it really been too long... but it feels so good to meet you again
Sun-yes...it really does (both of them smile at each other)

They hug briefly,this time it’s a warm one...
Sam turns away and begins walking towards her car.....

Sunil shuts the door and walks straight towards the camera and says-she’s gone,
you know what!!! it actually wasn’t soo bad....she is real sweetheart...so easy to talk to,so open and straight forward....and today,she’s no different. Just the same Sammy I knew in college...except a little older... (Laughs)

Turns and is shocked to find Sammy....standing at the door...

Sun-how did you come in???(Looking between the camera and her in shock)
Sam- the door wasn’t closed properly,I forgot my cell phone...
Sam-but who were you talking to!?
Sun-(looks down for a few sec and then meets her eye) im sorry I lied to you ...I said I was alone....im not!! I want you to meet rahul...and points to the camera...

Sam-(is completely shocked) doesn’t move...(looks where Sunil is pointing)
Sun-hes a close friend, from taj

Sam-(still isn’t moving from where she is)

There’s a few secs pause

Sam-.....Sunil.......there’s no one there....

Sun-shocked looks at the sammy....and back to the camera.............

(The plot of the story is that rahul is infact a hallucination of the patient (Sunil), Sunil is a schizophrenic) and the audience sees the movie from the eyes of hallucination....

Schizophrenia-
A mental disorders characterized by disturbances of language and communication; thought disturbances that may involve distortion of reality, misperceptions, delusions and hallucinations; mood changes and withdrawn, regressive, or bizarre behavior, lasting longer than six months.

CASABLANCA!

I just got back after watching Casablanca!..what a wonderfully shot movie.I would have never thought it was shot in 1941.Its a movie so much ahead of its times(direction wise).Michael Curtiz is truly a genius.The story is touching and has a very nice bittersweet ending to it.If it was made 10yrs ago,this is how it would have gone,Rick and Ilsa would have jumped into a 747 and flown off, there would definitely been no beautiful friendship between Louis and Rick and the only bittersweet ending would have been when Victor and Louis discovered they had feelings for each other!lol...

I don't know about you guys, but some how I feel there are no clean simple movies today,like Casablanca.A movie which has good actors,who don't over act.A movie where the story is simple but yet very touching........A movie where you feel at some point in time,your the character. There is this dialogue in the movie,"The problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world".Whata line man and its so well put.You know the fact,and you've talked about it to your dear ones,about how your a speck of dirt on the road when compared to the size of earth, but ..............but.................it still makes a lot more sense when you hear it in the movie.I don't know why?!!....

There's this other dialogue that i liked a lot and Bogart just deliveres it brilliantly,its...
Rick to Ilsa: Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Laszlo, or were there others in between? Or - aren't you the kind that tells?
Nobody has ever done this to me,but I just like the dialogue.I know looots of people who are THAT KIND!!the kind that "don't tell"....whatever it might be.They just keep it to themselves.I just don't understand how people can be like that!?!just keep to themselves....hardly talk,hardly go out,have a monotonous life style...anyway who knows maybe they are the souls who are actually elevated:-)

Coming back to the movie...I just love they way they have portrayed Rick,like in the line where he tells sam,"play it sam!!,if she can hear it,i can!!it really shows how deeply in love he was with Ilsa,along side with his hard looks and sharp remarks,one does realise that he does have a soft heart.There are not too many characters like this in the history of cinema.At the same time one should watch this movie jussttt for Ingrid Bergman. Just for that short glance she gives with her head slightly tilted,for the mild glimmer in her eyes when shes talking to rick,for the way she says "Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake".
she carries herself so beautifully in the movie and I'm not kidding but she just looks gorgeous,she looks like the moon on Paurnami in the movie.There is this glow you can find in her face,one would really think shes got a big bright bulb inside her head or some thing... but she is just remarkable.


But these truly are my favorite lines in the movie,and the song.....my god...is jussttt beeaauutiifuulll!!!

Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake.
Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa.
Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
Sam: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Ilsa. I'm a little rusty on it.
Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum...
[Sam begins playing]
Ilsa: Sing it, Sam.

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.